Saturday, November 28, 2009

Late night Processing

I just updated the justice blog and was typing...came across some things that I hadn't thought about didn't think I should put it on that blog but I have all the liberty to put it on my personal one here. So, some thoughts I had...

What is God doing in the big plan of my life? The thing is I know he is Faithful and True. I KNOW what he has said and I KNOW that if I knew what it was completely he has for my life...I would crap my pants. Open doors always come. Dreams are fulfilled and new dreams are birthed.
I have said it before, I seem to be my cameras passenger...almost like it takes me everywhere....Kind of what spurred this thinking was about when Josh and Ashley left our team for a few days for Thanksgiving. They are a huge asset to our team Josh with his Filming skills (not to mention bowstaff skills) and Ashley who loves to plan things and set everything up...crossing i's and dotting all the t's (wait switch that) They both make an great team and love working with them. In contrast with me...I want to be a valuable and respected person...(this isn't a pitty party) I want to know what else I can do to make my team stronger. I'll be the first to admit, I haven't been completely open with anyone about the "skills" if you will that I have...frankly cause people can be leeches...and, I don't want to get sidetracked by something else that I am good at (or could improve at). I know I have these gifts and abilities but when do I bust them out. I guess sometimes on this trip I would love to disappear and watch the team dynamics with out I even usefull? Am I really doing anything...everyone has a camera and frankly taking better pictures than I am, which I am very glad for.

On a more Optomistic look of everything...I have an amazing team we really have blended well together and almost have a non verbal communication when we are out on the street. There have been a few times when there was some communication breakdowns...(me driving in SF and I thought Ro was telling me to go left but she actually told me to go straight...this happened for three blocks :) ha Ro, I really am bad.) This is just normal stuff though that you would get driving in a car...ANYWAYS, God is really doing something in my heart...I still want to go overseas...I still want to reach the unreached...I still want to market missionaries....I love networking...I love marketing...I love Trusting everyday to see Gods provision in my life...I love telling people the Good News of my Jesus...and I love being that hand of God in their life...but there is another puzzle piece somewhere in this trip that has struck a chord with my heart. Who knows, these are just words that are coming out of my fingertips...and its late. Could be different tomorrow, though I hope not. I love dreaming with Jesus.

Now to finish up this blog so I can go to bed finally I will repeat what I said on the other site of things I am thankfull for. Some things I am really thankful for is the team I am on, the passions we all have for the lost and enslaved, the vision of what we are doing and where we are going, and the dedication. Malissa, even though we have had an amazing past (remember when I was 4 yrs old?) I am glad that we can actually call each other friends. Josh, (this is the part I really have to think.) Your an inspiring motovater, and the toughest boss to work under thanks for sharing the Credit Card. Ashley, I have said this many times over but your a woman of patience and grace even when the schedual doesn't go as planned. And Ro, thanks for asking me to come on this trip, thanks for your trust, and motovation. I really look up to and respect all that your doing in and out of ministry. Maybe I am the first to always say how amazing you are at things because well, you really are awesome at them. With that I think we all should take over the world.

I have had enough sappy emotional processing for one year...don't even know where that came from....wait, just realized...Caleb Collins is playing his latest album on my ipod...that what it was...bahhh! Gets me every time. Speaking of which you should get his CDs he has a Christmas CD and the latest album is Dream...along with his first album Classic...if you remember I shot the CD art for his first cover...Good stuff Caleb. Love you man.

Sorry I don't have more pictures but...well, thanksgiving was a littel busy..didn't even pick up my camera.

Night all.

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